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[14 Jan 2006|11:13am] |
[mood|  weird]
[music|Super Chick. Hero. ]
I hate when I actually think of things to put on this thing...then when I get on I forget everything. I better update though because this is the last day of my sister's computer. Sorry guys I have no pics to update today. SOMEONE deleted all of the bad pics because they weren't perfect. lol. I finally did that stupid U.S. report. Im happy. Now I just have the other million other things I need to do before Tuesday. Last night I went on a date to the movies with Roy. We saw Glory Road..i think it's called. It was AWESOME. I'm not a very big basketball fan. But I liked it. Thursday I went to my mom's friend's house to look at puppies. Sorry Nike, but it was your kind of dog. I don't like them.lol. I'm tired again. I'll put some stuff later.
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[08 Jan 2006|10:09pm] |
[mood|  gloomy]
[music|Bowling for Soup. Girl all the Bad Guys Want. ]
I don't really feel like talking. I just found something out. I'm taking it harder than I thought I would.
This weekend was llaame. Only good thing that came out of it was driving to bufu everywhere and going one the express way for the first time. Friday I spent the day with Roy. Came home bout 5 and just watched a movie with my sister that night. i love The Notebook. Old movie yes, but I can't stop watching it. Saturday me sister, my mom and me went to best buy and gotz me a digital!! Soo happy! Then we went to Orland Mall. Then later at like 7 we went out to New Lenix to go to my Uncle's resturant. We first went to my mom's like 2nd cousin. My dad had to look at his house really quick. So my mom, sister, brother and me stayed in the car for a whole fucking hour. Finally he came out and we went to the resturant bout 930 and it was closed. Ended up going to Orland and eating at Olive Garden. First timer for me. Left there at like 1130. Today my sister, brother and me went to my grandma's to eat. Then all of us went to my cousin Nico's house for his family birthday party. Then we went to the wake. My uncle's mom died Thursday. The one we went to the hospital for on Sunday. No one was barely there and I had like a panic attack when I went up to the casket. I was like terrified or something. Like she was going to come to live or something. I don't feel good. Here are some pictures.
( My life is boring.. )
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[04 Jan 2006|11:28pm] |
[mood|  awake]/
[music| Joy Williams. Wish.]
So weird. I was reading my friends page and my cat gets up and just walks over my laptop. Just stands there on top of it. She did it before. But she pressed some sort of buttens and ended up doing something so that i could see all the pictures on the page instead of having to scroll to look at just one photo. Man, I wish she would have taught me but she left.
I wish I had a dollar for how many times they told me nothings mine and I shouldn't even have any friends.
As I tried saying before. I'm starting over. Turning everything around. Yesturday I went to the doctors and I don't know why. But when I was just sitting there wanting not to be there, I was back in 7th grade. I was back laying in the field under the stars with Amy. Okay, nothing like that...but I'm sure everyones done it.
I blacked out during school yesturday and I remember the last thing I smelled was Amanda's house, the day everyone found out she passed.
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[02 Jan 2006|11:15pm] |
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Rest In Peace
Amanda Rose Carrillo
I love you so much!! Not a day goes by when I'm still missing you. The past two years have been tough without you here. Nothing will ever be the same without you. I wish I could do something for you. You know I'm going to try to give you something. All I need is faith and my strength. I'm just glad you don't have to go through what life smacks us all in the face. I just wish you were here to help me and lead me the right way like you use to. I love you Mandi.
Lovely 15.
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[01 Jan 2006|10:25pm] |
[mood|  angry]/
[music|Distillers. Young and the Crazed Peeling. ]
Another stupid New Years. 3rd year in a fucking row, I spent mine crying. Whatever.
So I went to my Uncles like we usually do. My cousin Orlando picked me and my bro up cuz my parents weren't going to go. Nothing happened at all. Came home bout 12:30. Today I went to Palos Heights Hospital. My 26 year old cousin Steve is there for a colapst lung. He's fine. Then there was my uncle's Mom in there too. lol...because she's old. Sorry. Inside joke. I drove there and then to my Nono's and then back home. We stopped by my Nono's (Grandpa in Italian) and ate. I was being nice. I hate them though.
(haha. My sister "want to go to the grave Tuesday round 2:30?" Me "I have school." My sister "Oh..." Laughs at me. I DONT WANA GO!)
Ahh...yes. I wanted to say before that I read my whole Lj' and I suck. lol. My life is gay. One min i'm fine and the next it's "kill the world". One of my new years resolutions is to do more exciting things. I have a new start. I'm only 16 and I want to take advantage of it while it lasts.
( Me and my sister took some pictures )
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[27 Dec 2005|06:06pm] |
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[mood|  pissed off]
[music|Howie Day.Kristina. ]
Okay, yeah. Last time I updated something happened and made everything bold. Now my background picture is not showing up, again. I re-did the whole entry and I fixed that. Still no picture.
This winter break went by so fast. I still need to do that stupid U.S. report. I've downloaded so many music videos and my blank DVDs don't even work. Nothing is working for me. I keep thinking this is my last year. My mom said that we're putting the house up for sale no longer than a year. So I don't know what's going to happen, or if it's even true. For some odd reason I keep wanting to play board games and I don't really like them. Oh, and I got Apples to Apples for Xmas. I should have got the kids one cause this has too many huge words in it and it's not that funny. I'm too boring. I'll come back when I got some good stuff to talk about.
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| Merry Christmas. |
[27 Dec 2005|05:58pm] |
[mood|  energetic]
[music| FallOut Boy.Dance Dance.]
tell me why i just realized the word christ is in Christmas.
Today feels like Christmas Eve. (Fuck! I just remembered me and Roy were suppose to go to Amanda's and Jimmy's grave today.) So, Friday night was crazy. I was suppose to babysit that night. Roy was having a party at his house. Last min, my aunt calls to say she wanted to go out Tuesday instead. Then, my parents were going to a party.Basically I had no chance on going and everything just fell into my lap. I get to Roy's.Right away I heard couple girls saying "what, ..Crissi's here." I see Roy coming up the stairs. He was fucked up. Couldn't even walk by himself. People kept gettin him to drink, but of course he needed to stop right away. I was trying to get him to lay down, or throw up. I had to like seriously grab drinks out of Roy's hand and throw em. He was soaked. Alot of people were pissin' me off and I was yelling at everyone. I was just so pissed that they let him get that way. Then he started crying.I got him into the bathroom finally by myself.lol, he kept saying it was his turn to play the game. Then he started saying he didn't do anything. Crying. That he was sorry. I guess girls were trying to get with him or something. That all he kept saying was "no i want to kiss Crissi" The girls-"Crissi's not here" I know he didn't do anything. He said they kept following him. He said Alot more personal stuff to me but I'm not going to get into all that. lol.He got sober near the end and tried so hard to convince me that he meant everything he said and that he wasn't just sayin' shit cause he was drunk. We're together and I'm soo happy.Things are alot better.I hope it stays this way. I ended up spending the night and taking care of him. Wasn't bad at all.Yesterday I went to his Grams with him. Fun Fun.Today he came with me to my aunts.My dad's side. ugh.
P.s. Roy is not the crying type. Last time I seen him cry was the beginning of freshman year. I WISH I had my digital so i could have recorded everything.
Schools coming soon.I don't want to go.
Haha! Roy -"I'll like you no matter what color your tounge is." Never thought you'd hear THAT before. Love you babe.
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[19 Dec 2005|10:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
[A is for age:] 16
[B is for booze of choice:] The ones i dont drink anymore.?.. lol Mr.vudka
[C is for career:] None.
[D is for your dad's name:] bitchassmotherfuckerforadad. Salvatore.
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:] No purse, maybe a cell. Money. no purse because i'd be the one to carry it everywhere n i dont like to. Maybe a cell cuz just incase sumthin happens. Money..for foood.
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] Who you'd be today. Kenny Chesney
[G is for favorite game:] OH! Apples Apples. Somethin like that. lol Played it last night. ;)
[H is for hometown:] Homewood, IL
[I is for instruments you play:] uh..lol. Clarinet. Guitar. Tried the Piano.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:] Not anymore. But if i had to pick..Sam got me into Strawberry.
[K is for kids?:] Not sure yet.
[L is for living arrangements:] Gay.
[M is for mom's name:] Amparo.
[N is for name of your crush:] No..my crush starts with an R. (lol,jk-i get it)
[O is for overnight hospital stays:] Hmm. One.
[P is for phobias:] Really close places.
[Q is for quotes you like:] "Pain is only temporary." "If it's too good to be true then it probably is, so let it go."
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest]: 2 years.
[S is for sexual preference:] Only one 4 me.
[T is for time you wake up:] 7:40
[U is for underwear:] ugh..lol. Boyshorts.
[V is for vegetable you love:] Gonna have to say corn.
[W is for weekend plans:] Whatever comes along. Chillen with Roy.
[X is for x-rays you've had:] dentist.lol. my torso. head. lot of catscans.When i use to get so many migranes.
[Y is for yummy food you make:] Eggs.I think thats the only good things i make.lol
[Z is for zodiac sign:] Gemini.
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[12 Dec 2005|10:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 busy |
] |
Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one or a lot of reasons why I
like/love/adore you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the
love.
( Stolen from Sam B. )
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| Never being good enough is my greatest gift |
[05 Dec 2005|12:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
I wish I could say what I really want to say. But i can't because people take things the wrong way. I guess i'll just talk about basic stuff. I did get a hair cut like a month ago. I dyed my hair back to brown. It looks a lot better. Seriously, no joke. Everyone said the same thing to me. Same words. "I like it! ..It looks more..natural." It's like damn, was i that of a mess. I got my grades up. Not too up. I still havn't done shit on my US. History report because i don't know how to do it. Yeah, my rough draft was due today. Nothing else going on at school. ((As i'm typing and thinking about school...realizing how much work i need to do and things i am missing today)) My sister is coming back this weekend and staying for 6 weeks. I just fucking organized my room too. I do not want it to be Christmas already. I wish it was June. I guess i'll start looking for a job now. Any suggestions??
Nike: I feel your pain.
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[27 Nov 2005|03:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
If you want a happy life and good days keep your tounge from speaking evil, and keep your lips from telling lies. --Matthew 12:37
I wish I could help more. I wish I had a purpose.
Yeah..don't you hate it when people say things on their Lj' and you have no idea what they're talking about because you don't know the story. Sorry...
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| Bored... |
[26 Nov 2005|10:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
 | You scored as Rocker, Mosher. Your A Rocker!
Rocker, Mosher | | 65% | Goth | | 55% | Emo | | 55% | Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev | | 35% | Skater | | 35% | Prepy | | 20% | Trendy | | 20% | </td>
What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy E.c.t
created with QuizFarm.com |
You should get a prince Albert or your downstairs
pierced and if you dont know what a prince
albert is, your fucking retarded, its when you
get your dick pierced!!!!
What should you get pierced?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| When will life all come together. |
[23 Nov 2005|05:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
One and a half more years is too far. I just want to leave now. Never turn back.
I guess now i can really go to Arizona.
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[12 Nov 2005|12:59am] |
Tuesday, November 8th was my two year anniversary.
It's funny how some people get second chances in their life. It's been two years since my last time that happened to me. It's almost two years since the day god didn't give her a second chance.
P.s. I havn't updated in a while because my dad deleted my sister's screen name. So now i have nothing to sign into to go online.
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[12 Nov 2005|12:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 silly |
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Hmm..with that last update. Screw everything i said with my dad. The next day he went back to being normal. Fuck everything he said to me, and him. I can't remember what ive been doing exactly since halloween. I didn't do out at all that weekend after halloween. Monday i got to see Roy tho. He picked me up to go to the mall. My parents we're being asses cuz im still "grounded" so they made me come back. Weird thing was..when he dropped me off my parents said they wanted to Roy to come in. I figured they wanted to talk to him. Nope. They let him just stay with me. Tuesday I went to Roy's house. He cooked dinner since his ma went out and it was really good. I love the way he cooks. Anyways. At about 9 i went to my aunts by my grandma's. My ma picked me up. Thursday I came back out to Roy's. Went to my aunts afterwards and have been here since then. Im still at my aunts and havn't been home. It feels great. Roy came over last night for a bit. I like staying here. Because my aunt lives ontop of my grandma's house and throughout the day family always come over. I use to live where my aunt lives now before i moved out to homewood and i miss it.
I'm gonna go get a haircut today. I gotta. I like it long. But i really need to fix it.
2mrw we're throwing a surprise party here for my cousin Orlando. Big 18. Fucker.
I really need to start going to school. I still can't go a full week without ditching.
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| LiveJournal changed... |
[01 Nov 2005|08:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungry |
] |
So yesturday=Halloween. I was a princess. Meh. I wish i went through with just being a football player. I'm grounded for 2 weeks. But my parents let me go out with Roy. I actually ended up spending the night there. With my mom knowing. She was too tired to pick me up and she got me introuble. I never spent the night at anyone's house before on a school night. ::giggles:: lol. But it was weird coming home at 7 in the morning to get ready for school and knowing i didn't sleep in my bed. It was alot of fun. I loved being at school and still smelling like roy.
Yesturday before i left my dad wanted to talk to me. Did i mention he went to the hospital on saturday cuz of kidney stones. Yeah well...he's not good. He went to the doctors today and they sent him to the emergency room. Any how. He was talking to me about alot of stuff. That he was sorry for everything. That he forgave me for everything i've done. And when he said that, that he forgave me. I started bawling. Because that's all i want from people. He talked about going back to church. That he would start taking me again. I loved going to his church. I'm catholic, but he's christian. I use to go not only Sunday's, but Wed's too. It wasn't like, oh i'm there for friends, kind of thing. Everytime i went, it felt like it was just me in the room. I havn't been there since early 8th grade.
I don't know...I feel like something's going to happen. I don't know what or when. I just feel like...something horriable. Everytime this happens...something does happen. Like how i knew my grandpa was dying. Sitting at the hospital just for a visit. I felt it. I started to walk towards his room by myself. I heard his heart monitor beep faster. I saw his legs moving through the window of the door. I was too late. I wouldn't go in the room untill everyone else had. I couldn't. I miss him.
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| Hypocrites rule the world. |
[29 Oct 2005|12:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 horny |
] |
Time on my hands since you've been away boy
I ain't got no plans
no, no, no, no.
And the sound of the rain, against my windowpain.
Is slowly, slowly driving me insane.
Boy, I'm going down
I'm going down
'Cause you aint around, baby.
My whole world's upside down
Sleep don't come easy.
Boy, please believe me.
Since you've been gone, everything's going wrong.
Why'd you have to say goodbye?
Look what you've done to me
I can't stop these tears from falling from my eyes.
Just when you think your whole life is going to be better. Just for a moment.
I havn't eatin' much lately. I havn't done any of my homework. The shit that pisses me off...is i don't want anyone to fucking think they need to feel sorry for me. Life just sucks dick. No way turning back.
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| "Pee-yellow" --My mom. |
[27 Oct 2005|07:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
Blah blah Blah.
I dyed my hair. It's...gold. All of it. I havn't decided yet if i like it or not. I did it last night but it turned out really bad. Today i was dying cuz i hated it. So my cousin Steph picked me up and she took me to go get hair stuff and she did it for me. She's a doll. She let me take a picture of her for photo. Tuesday i baby sat for my uncle and aunt during the game...the longest game in history for world series. I finally got to see that one baseball movie Sam Baker is always talking about in her journal. It's good. Gilmore Girls didn't start off good this season, but it's deff getting better. Hmm...i havn't been doing any of my school work and it sucks. I don't want to go to school. Oh, but yes, i got two, not just one, but two saturday detentions yesturday. I hate Mrs. Nolen. She can fucking suck my dick. Gr.
I knew there was something else...
Christa is "having a baby". I noticed that pregnate sounds like a bad word. And if you notice when married couples are 'pregnate'-they always say "we're having a baby". Not-"i'm pregnate." The point is, when i found out, i knew she wanted it. And ofcourse she said "I'm having a baby." My mom knows more about her being preg than i do. I heard it from 3 people already. In just 2 days.
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mr_briteside's journal
tired]
[music|Scottie Doesn't know. ]
/ sick]
[music| Bad Day~Daniel Powter.]